Ever notice how people talk to children? It is with great emotion. The positives are very positive filled with smiles and excited tones. The negatives are harsh, firm and obvious. You can always tell when a parent is upset with behavior even if you cannot hear the words being used. Too often as we grow into adults, we normalize to an unemotional middle ground. In an attempt to be professional or simply regarded as grown up, we lose this expressive nature, at least on the positive side of the equation. While I am not advocating speaking to adult peers as if they are kindergartners, I am advocating putting a little excitement back into feedback.

A great illustration of this comes from two different Q&A sessions I participated in this year. Both sessions were video recordings where I was on camera, looking at an interviewer and responding to easy questions for which I had prepared good answers. In one instance the interviewer was outstanding. He smiled and nodded as I answered, then followed it up with a quick statement of enthusiasm like “good” or “that was great.” During the second session, the interviewer never smiled, never nodded, and even asked the questions with a flat tone. Even though the Q&A lasted only a few minutes, I felt like it took so much energy just to make it through.

Those experiences made me reflect on how I respond to ideas I am faced with. I really want to be the outstanding interviewer, spurring my teammates on to build on their ideas, not leave them feeling deflated. I also noticed that I praise my kids profusely when they behave in ways I like with smiles and high-fives. Yet, somehow, I lose that in the workplace. As I reflect further I can see in the faces of those I give feedback to a mirror image of my expression. When I smile and praise my kids, they smile too. When I deliver praise straight faced and “professionally” to colleagues, they too are straight faced.

Let’s put some expression and excitement into the workplace! I will try and do my part anyway.