Communication is always an issue.  Sometimes it is the issue.  In almost every evaluation of performance, projects, meetings, whatever, people feel like the communication could have been better.

One of the best observations from this week I can offer you is this: If something is bothering you, go communicate.

Let me give you a little scenario.  We are working with a customer on a project and have been for a while.  There have been positive developments and negative developments, as in almost any relationship.  Earlier this week, I found myself worrying about this particular project and unsure exactly what the customer is thinking.

Here are my options:

• Continue worrying about what they are thinking
• Initiate conversation and ask what they are thinking and how they are feeling
• Guess as best I can what they are thinking and feeling

The answer seems obvious doesn’t it.  Initiate communication.

In reality though, we tend to choose option 1 or 3.  Would you believe that option 2 is actually scarier and feels worse than 1 or 3?  Yet, that is exactly what we are saying when we do not choose option 2.

The real problem is when we establish these patterns of non-communication.  The assumptions get deep.  The stress from the worry builds up and finally something breaks.  Relationships are not usually fractured over one issue.  We may blame one issue that finally releases the explosion, but it is rarely just one solitary thing.  Not when we are talking about long standing relationships.

So what did I learn this week?  If you find yourself worrying about what someone else is thinking, initiate communication.  You will feel better and the relationship will get stronger (at least 99% of the time).