I tried to explain this concept to my 7 year old son a few weeks ago and while I think I did a pretty good job, I somehow doubt he caught very much of the message.

The conversation started because he was a little upset with me because as I was coaching third base for his baseball team, I got one of his teammates thrown out trying to advance. In my opinion he actually got himself thrown out. I knew it was a risk when I sent him, but it was actually more valuable for the kid to get out than to be safe. In this particular game we had a healthy lead. It was bound to be a close play. The boy rounded second standing up, but was not prepared to come to third. He did not anticipate being able to advance. When he did advance, because I sent him, he failed to slide. Either of these actions would have resulted in him being safe. However, since he was out, it became a coachable moment. I tried to explain this to Bennett that had he been safe, the event would not have been memorable or stood out in any way. However, since the boy was called out, we were able to teach him subtle ways in which he could improve his game or to put forth a little more effort and slide. There’s value in effort too.

This 100% applied to work last week and was even a topic my management team was eager to discuss this morning. We had a particular meeting that did not go very well. This was for several reasons, but instead of focusing on what did not go right, which happened to be a lot in this case, we were able to build several coaching conversations. I can probably assure you that those being coached through this moment are not as excited today as I am, but that’s normal. Growth is all too often painful because it stems from our failures. The team learned lessons in how to prepare for a top-level meeting. We left with ideas on how to build a better agenda for this particular discussion. The agenda we used presented information for discussion, which led down many rabbit holes, versus having an agenda that led to the decisions this group was assembled to make. If you want great answers, ask the right questions. If you want general discussion, throw out general topics. Another important takeaway was to expect feedback or commentary on work you present. If it is something the group has never seen before, you should welcome the feedback. If you don’t want or need the feedback, don’t present it. I guarantee you that the next time this team meets to discuss our top projects, it will be better. Everyone involved left with takeaways and ideas. Not because the meeting went so well, but because it went so incredibly poorly.

The same applies to me.   In my experience, those test problems I was most prepared for were those I missed on my homework assignments. The areas of my leadership I have most improved are those where I’ve had the most struggles or the biggest, most noticeable failures. Even now, our business is having some success, but not to the level I anticipated. This keeps me digging. It keeps me looking at myself, refining our strategies and refining my leadership techniques. If things were going too well, I would probably get a little puffed up and satisfied by our success.   By my definition a lack of success is failure. If you see success and failure as finite options, then there are only two options and if you cannot make a strong case for one, you are left with the other.