As Ashley and I celebrate our 9th anniversary today, I am reminded of all the wonderful times we have had together.  I am hard pressed to think of times we had together that were not wonderful.  Of course our marriage has always taken work, but no times I would classify as particularly difficult.  I definitely recall challenging times, like when she was pregnant with our second child Vivian, emotional, tired and a little short with me.  Based on her condition it is probably totally unfair to hold that against her, but nevertheless I did remind myself often that she did indeed like me and this would pass. Who remembers that anyway?  
I feel very blessed to have such a terrific wife and the nine years have flown by in pleasant times.  Even though I work for a family business, I feel that oftentimes my wife, who does not work in the business, is my best advisor, recruiter and confidant. As I reflect here are a few reasons as to why it works so well:

1. Shared Values – From the early dating stages of our relationship we had discussions about what we valued, where we might compromise and where we might not.  Fortunately our values aligned.
2. Common Goal – Our common goal is to have a lifelong marriage.  We both made the same vow and intend to uphold it.  Knowing that maintaining this relationship is our goal, it totally removes other options from the equation.  Now we both face any challenges with the goal of working through it in order to stay on the path to achieve our common objective.
3. Openness to Reflect and Change – Neither of us is perfect and we both know it.  Thus, it is with great sincerity that when one partner shares their concerns about a behavioral pattern, the other is willing to reflect upon their comments and then change in order to remedy the concerns.

Surely as complex as any relationship, let alone marriage is, it cannot be broken down into these simple bullets or steps.  However, these are the ones that jump out to me on this, our 9th wedding anniversary.